These hilarious Beatles quotes and jokes will get you laughing in no time. It includes all the best John Lennon and Paul McCartney cracks, not to mention the most humorous quotes from The Beatles interviews.
1. Naming The Beatles
Reporter: Who thought up the name, Beatles?
Paul McCartney: I thought of it.
Paul McCartney: Why not?
2. Questioning Popularity
“Journalist: What is the reason you are the most popular singing group today?
All four: Don’t know. No idea.
John Lennon: If we knew, we’d get together four boys with long hair and be managers.”
3. Street Walk
Journalist: Would you like to walk down the street without being recognized?
John Lennon: We used to do this with no money in our pockets. There’s no point in it.
4. Stamp Out The Beatles
Reporter: There’s a ‘Stamp Out The Beatles’ movement underway in Detroit. What are you going to do about it?
Paul McCartney: We’re going to start a campaign to stamp out Detroit.
5. The Criticism
Reporter: What do you think of the criticism that you are not very good at?
George Harrison: We’re not.
6. Ringo’s Parties
Journalist: Ringo, how do you manage to find all those parties?
Ringo Starr: I don’t know. I just end up at them.
Paul McCartney: On tour, we don’t get out much. Ringo’s always out though.
John Lennon: Ringo freelances.
7. Money Counting
Reporter: What will you do when Beatlemania subsides?
John Lennon: Count the money.
8. Airplane’s Engine
Reporter: What did you think when your airplane’s engine began smoking as you landed today?
Ringo Starr: Beatles, women, and children first!
9. Can’t Write or Read Music
Journalist: Is it true none of you can read or write music?
Paul McCartney: None of us can read or write music. The way we work is like, we just whistle. John will whistle at me and I’ll whistle back at him.
10. Ladies Man
Reporter: Girls rushed toward my car because it had press identification on it and they thought I met you. How do you explain this phenomenon?
John Lennon: You’re lovely to look at.
11. Day Tripper’s Meaning
Reporter: Recently there has been an article published in Rolling Stone magazine stating that Day Tripper was about a prostitute, and Norwegian Wood was about a lesbian. What was your intent when writing these songs?
Paul McCartney: We were just trying to write songs about prostitutes and lesbians
Reporter: Beethoven figures in one of your songs. What do you think of Beethoven?
Ringo Starr: He’s great. Especially his poetry.
13. Beatles Fighting
Journalist: Do you fight among yourselves?
John Lennon: Only in the mornings.
14. Playboy Club
Reporter: You were at the Playboy Club last night. What did you think of it?
Paul McCartney: The Playboy and I are just good friends.
15. Musical Background
Journalist: Why are your speaking voices different from your singing voices?
George Harrison: We don’t have a musical background.
16. Looking At Ringo
Reporter: Does all the adulation from teenage girls affect you?
John Lennon: When I feel my head start to swell, I look at Ringo and know perfectly well we’re not supermen.
17. Haircut Day
Reporter: Don’t you ever get a haircut?
George Harrison: I had one yesterday.
Ringo Starr: You should have seen him the day before.
18. Smoke and Drink
Reporter: Do you worry about smoking in public? Do you think it might set a bad example for your younger fans?
George Harrison: We don’t set examples. We smoke because we’ve always smoked. Kids don’t smoke because we do. They smoke because they want to. If we changed we’d be putting on an act.
Ringo Starr (whispering): We even drink.
19. The Yellow Submarine Theory
Paul: Why don’t you just quit and live in an “Octopus’ Garden”, Ringo? John: Yeah! And take your “Yellow Submarine” with you! George: “Boys”, let’s say “Good Night” and leave.
20. Caged Animals
John Lennon: No more unscheduled public appearances. We’ve had enough. We’re going to stay in our hotel except for concerts.
Journalist: Won’t this make you feel like caged animals?
John Lennon: No. We feed ourselves.
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